Artsy, But Mostly Fatsy

Dec 27, 2014
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BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: To make up for all that sports coverage, here’s what we know public radio listeners really want - the best stories from the fine arts from 2014.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Tom, an opera singer in Nashville has filed suit against her doctor. She says, ever since an operation, she can no longer sing without doing what?

(LAUGHTER)

TOM BODETT: Does it involve flatulence?

SAGAL: It does.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: How come I always get those questions, Peter?

SAGAL: Well, you always answer them correctly, Tom.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: Oh God, that's so great.

SAGAL: Every time Amy Herbst opens her mouth to sing a solo in the opera, she ends up performing a duet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The unwanted bass notes are the result of an operation that went wrong. thus she's suing her doctor. Instead of hiding her new gift, though, she is embracing it. She's in rehearsals for a bold revision of an opera classic: "The Magic Flutes."

FAITH SALIE: It could be "The Magic Toot."

SAGAL: "The Magic Toots."

ROCCA: I'm really hoping that she's a coloratura, so it's (makes noises).

SAGAL: You know what I'm hoping? I'm hoping - I'm an opera fan. I'm hoping that when it happens to her onstage, they also subtitle the fart above the stage, so she's singing along, all of a sudden it's like (makes noises), spelled pfffff.

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SAGAL: Luke, a Long Island nursing home is being sued by the son of one of its elderly residents. He was shocked and appalled when he found a picture of his dear mother being entertained by what?

CARL KASELL, BYLINE: Uh oh.

LUKE BURBANK: A stripper.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

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AMY DICKINSON: Wow.

SAGAL: Franklin Youngblood went to visit his mother Bernice at the East Neck Nursing Center facility in Long Island and found a picture of his mom stuffing dollar bills into the very brief briefs of a male stripper brought to the nursing home for the entertainment of the residents. He sued. He said this was an insult to her dignity. But, look, the woman is 85. She doesn't have to worry about her reputation, and we're guessing she was ready for a change from canasta.

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BURBANK: What a bummer day when you work at the stripper service when you get your call sheet and it says East Neck retirement home.

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BURBANK: And then you're done, and then you just shake out your - you know, your little banana hammock thing...

DICKINSON: Give checks.

BURBANK: And it's just, like, Werther's and other hard candies.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, “CANDYMAN”)

CHRISTINA AGUILERA: (Singing)Tarzan and Jane were swinging on a vine. Candyman, Candyman. Sipping from a bottle of vodka double wine. Sweet, sugar, candyman. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.