Lightning Fill In The Blank

Sep 30, 2017
Originally published on September 30, 2017 11:10 am
Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Amy has two, Alonzo three. And Mo has four.

SAGAL: Oh, my goodness.

MO ROCCA: Woah.

SAGAL: All right. So that means, Amy, you're in third place. You will be up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, former representative blank was sentenced to 21 months in prison for his various sexting scandals.

AMY DICKINSON: Anthony Weiner.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, President Trump expanded the restrictions of his blank ban.

DICKINSON: His travel ban.

SAGAL: Right. In a...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...nonbinding referendum this week, Iraqi Kurds voted overwhelmingly in favor of blank.

DICKINSON: Independence.

SAGAL: Right. On Sunday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...a minor league soccer game in Romania had to be cut short after players blanked.

DICKINSON: They took a knee.

SAGAL: They accidentally kicked every single soccer ball into a nearby river.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, it was announced that Playboy founder blank had passed away at the age of 91.

DICKINSON: Hugh Hefner.

SAGAL: Right. This...

DICKINSON: And who will liberate all the women from that park he has?

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I picture these playmates just wandering around waiting to be let out.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: They've got to lift the Johnson Act.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, the U.S. and Russia announced they would work together to build a space station on blank.

DICKINSON: The moon?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thanks to a change in the law in Canada, it will no longer be illegal to blank under the influence.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

DICKINSON: Ride - golly. Oh, I can't ask for hints.

SAGAL: No, we've established that.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Does it involve cheese?

SAGAL: That would be a hint if I were to answer it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Meanwhile, the clock is ticking.

DICKINSON: Cheesemaking.

SAGAL: No, canoeing.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I forgot the question.

SAGAL: Currently...

DICKINSON: What does that mean? It's no longer...

SAGAL: ...It's no longer illegal to canoe while drunk in Canada.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, it's no longer legal.

SAGAL: It will - no longer illegal, no.

DICKINSON: Oh.

SAGAL: Until now, getting caught with a PUI - paddling under the influence - meant that you could lose your driver's license by being drunk in a canoe. But Canada has decided that's too harsh, especially because no one has ever tested what it would be like to get in a canoe sober, so...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That means that we won't get to see as many Canadian sobriety tests. All right, say the alphabet. A, eh...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: B, eh?

DICKINSON: Eh?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: C, eh?

DICKINSON: Eh.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Amy finally do on our quiz?

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Well, she got five right - ten more points. She has 12 and the lead.

DICKINSON: Yay.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Alonzo, you're up next. Fill in the blank. Despite a claim by the foreign minister of North Korea, the U.S. said it had not, in, fact blanked.

ALONZO BODDEN: Declare war.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After facing sharp criticism, President Trump waived shipping restrictions that were keeping aid from reaching blank.

BODDEN: Puerto Rico.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, contractors broke ground on eight prototypes for Trump's proposed blank.

BODDEN: Wall.

SAGAL: Right. This week...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...the mayor of Barcelona asked the EU to mediate on Catalonia's call for blank.

BODDEN: Independence?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to new in-depth market analysis, legal marijuana may be a boon to blank.

BODDEN: Selling legal marijuana?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, may be a boon to Taco Bell. On Tuesday...

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

BODDEN: Wait, that's a trick question because you said it may be...

ROCCA: Yeah, that's...

BODDEN: ...And it's definitely...

ROCCA: ...Analysis.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, regulators in New York subpoenaed documents from blank relating to their massive data breach.

BODDEN: Equifax.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Denver woman returned her car to find it scratched. She was also pleased to find blank on the windshield.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BODDEN: The car was scratched and blank was on the windshield?

SAGAL: She found money.

BODDEN: Nope.

SAGAL: Yes, she found - I'll give it to you. She found 40 bucks, half a joint and a note that said, sorry about the scratch, man.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: See, now that's a boon for legal marijuana.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: And Taco Bell has a drive-thru.

SAGAL: No, she found...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...This woman, she had a big scratch in her bumper, and she found an envelope, and it was a note and half a joint and 40 bucks. And the note said, sorry for the scratch, man. I'm such a dumbass. When asked what she was going to spend the money on, Shepard told reporters she wasn't sure. Then she called back 30 minutes later and said, you know, maybe I'm going to Taco Bell.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got six right - twelve more.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: And listen to this. He's got the lead with 15.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many, then, does Mo need to win?

KURTIS: Only six, Mo.

SAGAL: Here we go, Mo.

DICKINSON: That's a lot.

SAGAL: This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Roy Moore defeated Luther Strange to win the GOP Senate primary runoff in blank.

ROCCA: Alabama.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, it was revealed that in addition to Jared Kushner, at least six Trump advisers have used blank to conduct official business.

ROCCA: Personal email.

SAGAL: Right. On Sunday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Blank won her fourth term as German Chancellor.

ROCCA: Angela Merkel.

SAGAL: Yes. After...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Mounting criticism, HH Secretary Tom Price announced he would repay taxpayers for using blank.

ROCCA: Using private aircraft.

SAGAL: Yeah. So a...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Community meeting to discuss overcrowding in a town in Virginia was canceled after blank.

ROCCA: It got too crowded. Yeah.

SAGAL: Exactly. Too many...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...People showed up. This week, social media site Twitter rolled out an update giving some users blank.

ROCCA: Double the...

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROCCA: ...Capacity to write...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROCCA: Meaningless things.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a court ruled in favor of an owner of a $200,000...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...bright orange sports car after it was damaged by blank.

ROCCA: By pigeons.

SAGAL: No, by a donkey who thought it was a carrot and tried to eat it.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Very funny.

SAGAL: So this guy says he's parked his $200,000 sports car next to an animal paddock. And he's about to leave, looks in the rearview mirror. He sees this big-eared face and then this crunching noise as this donkey was eating his car.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's like, Shrek, Shrek!

SAGAL: The man successfully sued the animal's owner this week. He was awarded $6,000 and an apology from the donkey, who left him half a carrot and a note that said, sorry for the scratch, man.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm such a dumbass.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, did Mo do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He needed six, he got six.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Mo.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: He's a winner with 16.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

ROCCA: Thank you very much. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.