Limericks

Jan 17, 2015
Originally published on January 17, 2015 10:14 am
Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you would like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact us link at our website, waitwait.npr.orgg. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, or our February 12 show in Orlando, Florida and our March 12 show in New Orleans. Also, be sure to check out our sister podcast, How To Do Everything. This week, NBA superstar Jeremy Lin teaches the FBI a new secret handshake.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

ERIC PROULX: Hello.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

PROULX: This is Eric Proulx. Who's this?

SAGAL: This is...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is Peter.

PROULX: Hi, Peter.

SAGAL: Where are you calling from, Eric?

PROULX: I'm calling from New York City at the moment. I live in Austin, but I'm here working on a project.

SAGAL: Oh, I see. That's exciting. And since you live in Austin, what kind of music do you play?

(LAUGHTER)

PROULX: I hacked around on a guitar a little bit, but you won't see me playing at any venues.

SAGAL: Well, nice to talk to you, Eric. Bill Kurtis is now going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Are you ready to play?

PROULX: Yes.

SAGAL: All right, here we go.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: In the hot place to eat in the city, when the foods on the house, it's not pity. Cosmetic face judges are giving us nudges. We're comping your meal if you're...

PROULX: Pretty.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes indeed, are pretty.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Very good. No one, and I say no one looks good while they are eating, not even Steve Inskeep. But a restaurant in China has hired a panel of judges to rank diners on their looks and award free food to the best looking people. The idea, I guess, is to get attractive people to come to the restaurant because there's nothing the beautiful people like to do more than eat while people stare at them and take notes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know what's really depressing? Going there and being charged double.

(LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: We can give you half off your croutons.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick, Eric.

KURTIS: I'm not drinking alone in my flat. My feline friend helps me with that. Sancerre in the dish will go well with some fish. I've bought special wine for my...

PROULX: Cat.

KURTIS: Cat it is.

SAGAL: Yes cat.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You said with some resignation. We understand.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A Japanese company, which is called Meow Meow Nouveau, is selling wine for cats, which is apparently not just really expensive milk. The idea is you'll always have someone to drink with. And just like a real drinking buddy, this one will probably pass out or wander off and go lick something it should not.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: At our theme park the kids have all shownup. They clock in then have coffee with doughnups. There is no time to play 'cause they work for their pay. All the kids get to act like a...

PROULX: Grownup.

SAGAL: Indeed, a grown up.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An article in the New Yorker this week describes a new global chain of theme parks called KidZania where kids get to basically be adults for the day. Before, if a kid wanted to be treated like an adult, he had to go work in an iPhone factory.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: At KidZania, though, kids pretend to have jobs, they go grocery shopping, and they wait in line to ride the Linerator, which is just a line with nothing fun at the end.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And then at the end of all this adult fun, they go home and have too many juice boxes and are too tired to play with their even tinier fake children. I'm sorry, was that too sad?

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: It got a little sad.

OPHIRA EISENBERG, BYLINE: It makes me want to drink some cat wine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Eric do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Brilliant, three and oh, Eric. Congratulations.

SAGAL: Well done Eric. Done like an Austinite. Thanks. Say hello to Austin for us.

PROULX: I will. Thank you very much.

SAGAL: Take care.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.